Gender

Gender in Japan is often a topic of that I find problems navigating through within Japan. There are multiple instances where I have problems with it, and some gender-related issues are so ingrained, that it’s not considered an issue at all (see confusion with isshin denshin hahaha).

One instance, I do feel comfortable discussing about gender issues is the one time it became most apparent for me. We were on a conservation outing in the woods with a group of college students when on the last day, they held a party for local residents. In the beginning, it seemed to go swimmingly. Everyone worked together and did their part to get ready; nothing at this point hinted at what would happen. But once the guests started rolling in (all male mind you), the atmosphere and roles instantly switched. Where once the roles were simply leadership, it switched to gender. Men were ushered in the freshly tatami’d room, and women, without any word, somehow ended up in the kitchen. And that’s where it began. The women served and cooked. The only time I saw them partake in the festivities, they moved from groups of men to another to entertain (talk and occupy) and pour drinks.

Now, my breaking point was when a friend from earlier came to talk to us, and she had a completely different air and demeanor. It was like talking to a stranger again. Did gender roles really have that huge of an impact? So I moved to change it: I excused myself to use the bathroom and headed afterwards to the kitchen to see if they wanted a chance to rest or help. This in itself was apparently a big no-no or at least unprecedented. Except for one adult supervisor (who steadily put me to work), the girls became uncomfortable. “Why is a guy here? Why is he washing dishes,” I constantly heard behind my back. When guys came to hit on them they asked without tact, “Why is he here? He’s a guy right?”

This was greatly depressing. I tried to help or at least close the gender gap to be shot down. Doing so not only made them question my reasoning, but also made them uncomfortable. Since it is a different culture, am I to just sit by the wayside and accept it with a grim smile? Or do I push myself into a situation trying to alleviate my own discomfort (being served or lack of responsibility), causing them discomfort? It is an answer I have still not yet come to find.